I have said things on here I didnt mean and regretted for a long time.Not just now. I had someone in my life who is by far the best person I have ever known. Not in any one way.But in every way. She gave me everything and I destroyed it. Sge patched it up and I tore it down. She desperately tried to save me and save us and I shamwfully spat it in her beautiful face. I have never known love like that and never known a pain like it when I finally broke her too much. A long long long time after she should have. But it ahows how she ia...how she believed. I descended into a hell that has only gotten deeper...just rising to try drag her down. Im ashamed of myself more than anyone can comprehend. I had the world in her. She was everything and would and did give more than evertthing.and i treated her like the enemy because i was too much of a coward to look in the mirror.i made excuses to hurt more...it might be fair to say everything left of me and my heart died last Sunday...but in reality i died a long time ago. Nearly 5 years. And what is left has been lept going with poison that is the cure. I am sorry.More sorry than words. Everything feela broken now and I always was indignant...cries of 'oh ive suffered' I did but i never realiaed how much she did
And she didnt have heroin to numb the pain. I am sorry. I am so so sorry. I hope one day you might just understand...i dont expext you to forgive. You are a beautiful person in every way some one can be.